Written by: Dr. Sarah Valley, PT, DPT
Physical Therapy Lead/Diagnostician and Therapy Outreach Liaison
Taking care of children is a big, constant job. There are so many things to consider every step of the way. Often, decisions are made in the moment based on what’s safest, easiest, or cleanest. This can lead to much of the work being done by the caregiver and not much being asked of the child. While this approach makes the most sense at the time, it may not be setting the child up for success in the future.
Children are born with an innate drive towards helpfulness. Allowing children to help with basic chores and getting dressed demonstrates to them that they have a place in the family and that they have something to contribute. This leads to improved self-esteem and confidence and decreased depression and anxiety. When adults are constantly “doing” for children, they are sending the message that the child is not capable or that the adult doesn’t believe that the child can do it.
Often, the goal is for the child to be able to go away to college, move out, or get a job. All of these require the child to have some independence. If they have had limited responsibilities, this becomes a trial by fire. Unfortunately, the consequences can be greater than if they had been given more minor responsibilities when they were younger.
Promoting independence all through a child’s life allows children to learn the skills in a safe environment where it’s more socially acceptable to make mistakes. This can look like letting a child dress themself when they are 2-3 years old, letting them drink from an open cup at 6 months old, or walking without holding an adult’s hand at 1-2 years old. As stated earlier, it may lead to some crazy outfits, some spills, and some falls, but the child will be learning and becoming more independent, which will increase their confidence and self-esteem.
Age-appropriate chores to promote independence
There are several resources with lists of age-appropriate chores. When a child asks to help, find a meaningful way that they can, and you’ll see that they will continue to want to help even as they get older. This leads to confident, capable adults.
These are some recommendations based on generalizations. They can be adapted based on your child's abilities. Start with mastering the younger tasks and advance as appropriate.
Toddlers (ages 1-3)
put their toys away
fill up a cat or dog’s food bowl
place clothing in the hamper
wipe up spills
dust or wipe baseboards with a sock on their hand
help load the washer and dryer
Preschoolers (ages 4-5)
make their bed
clear the table
pull weeds
use a hand-held vacuum for crumbs or room edges
put away clean utensils
wash plastic dishes with supervision
assist an older sibling with setting the table
help bring in light groceries
sort laundry into whites and colors before wash
match socks together
care for pet’s food and water dish
Elementary schoolers (ages 6-9)
sweep floors
help make lunch
rake the yard
clean bedroom
put away groceries
load and empty dishwasher
vacuum
wipe down counters and sinks
help a parent prepare dinner
make themselves snack/breakfast
fold and put away laundry
take family dog for a walk (in the yard or with supervision)
mop the floor
empty trash bins
Middle schoolers (ages 10-13)
wash dishes
wash family car
prepare easy meals
use washer and dryer
take trash to the curb
assist younger siblings with chores
High schoolers (ages 14+)
clean out the fridge
help deep clean kitchen
clean toilet, sink, and shower in the bathroom
clean windows
babysit younger siblings independently
mow lawn
care for pets independently (including walks)
make more complex meals
iron clothes
resew buttons on clothing
help parents with simple home or auto repairs
accomplish small shopping trips alone (after receiving license)
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